Bares + Shirts = Backwards

Broadway Bares is probably one of the most exciting things that I look forward to every year. Seeing all of my talented crushes prance around on stage in their privies has to be the most raw form of entertainment (pun intended!) this side of the Hudson. I'm certain that this past year, I wasn't the only gay man on the dancefloor questioning my sexuality when the sight of the Blickenstaff/Foster boob-combo-cameo made me shriek louder than the fact that I was less than four feet away from Jake Wilson's dick.

…Now that I got that out of my system: you can imagine my excitement when I was given tickets to see Broadway Backwards this year (the perks of my job are slowly becoming apparent to me). Unfortunately, the thing that caught my attention most was the pair of sub-Saharan wild animals that purchased seats directly in front of us.

Aside from that, the less-than-par tickets were definitely worth seeing how many Swarovski Crystals the costume designers could fit onto Florence Henderson's blazer, and a short (but sweet) Chita Rivera revival from a barely recognizable Nick Adams.

Some of the most surprisingly delightful performances came from Anthony Marantino Mario Cantone, Raúl Esparza, and Wicked sensation Julia Murney. Becki Newton was unimpressive— perfect for Ugly Betty. Less than perfect for anything else.

All in all, Broadway Backwards 5 was a breath of fresh air. A few steps down from porn, it was a great way to make sure my Broadway faves were still alive— and clothed! Although my companion and I agreed the show could have done with more shirtless flavor, at least it can tide us over till June.

(Nick Adams and his haircare products at the "afterparty.")